Jessica Bryce

Tag: self-confidence

  • 4 Keys to Feeling Like a Winner, No Matter What

    and not letting anyone else’s expectations over-ride your success

    How do we get from “green as grass” to a calm and reliable riding partner that you can take anywhere?

    It can feel like such a long journey that you’re missing out on doing the things you want to because your horse isn’t ready yet. Or maybe you thought your horse was ready so you gave it a go but it didn’t work out and now it feels like you’ve gone backwards, or stuffed it up, and don’t know how to get back to good.

    Pictured below is a horse I’ve been working with for the last few months, called Polly. She’s not a young horse (in her teens, in fact) but had been out of work for several years and we didn’t know if she’d been to Club rallies ever before.

    I wanted to take Polly to a clinic with one of my favourite trainers, but it was an expensive clinic, a long way away (about 3 hours drive) and we’d have to camp overnight there. It was a big commitment of resources to get us there and I didn’t want to “waste” my time and/or money if Polly was too stressed to be able to participate in our lessons, or not settled enough to take on new learning while we were there.

    The Test Run

    Here’s what I did: I booked us in for a lesson at my local Riding Club, and planned my schedule to allow the whole day for it, so we wouldn’t be rushing to get there on time, or needing to get home again to do something else (aka set myself up to be calm and present).

    I made sure we arrived really early, so Polly would have plenty of time to relax in the yards and take in the busy atmosphere, and for me to walk her around the grounds before our lesson time to let her become familiar with the environment. (aka set my horse up to be calm and present)

    Before our lesson started, I explained to the coach my intention was just to give her a positive experience out and about and be able to ride calmly in the arena, and that we weren’t all that fit and may not last the full hour. (aka pre-set the expectations with others involved).

    I reminded myself to listen to my horse as she showed me how she was feeling and how equipped (or not) she was to take on this kind of outing. I reminded myself not to get caught up in wanting to achieve anything in particular, and not to compromise on my horse’s wellbeing for my own ambitions. (aka. pre-set my own expectations).

    As it turns out, Polly was a superstar; she stood calmly in the yard munching from her hay bag, and she was calm enough walking around the grounds that I felt it would be okay to get on and attempt the lesson.

    Polly was somewhat distracted by the horses showjumping in the next arena while I was riding, but otherwise took everything in her stride. We didn’t finish the lesson because I felt she was getting tired and becoming resistant to moving forward (which she never is at home) so I politely excused myself from the lesson at that point.

    Success! We went home feeling like winners! Feeling like it would be okay to book in for the clinic away from home, and feeling grateful for the experience and that I stayed true to my principles and held my horse’s wellbeing as my highest priority even while expecting her to cooperate and participate in activities that were fulfilling my human ambitions!

    How to not let other people’s expectations over-ride your success

    Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all rainbows and lollipops, during the lesson when Polly was constantly looking to the outside of the circle/arena to see what the jumping horses were doing, the coach was trying to get us working on inside bend…

    Afterward, back at the yards, another rider said to me, “Gee, you didn’t last long out there.” (No doubt you can imagine the tone.)

    But by measuring our success by my own scale, by my own pre-planned expectations and intentions, and by being okay with the fact that neither achieving inside bend on the circle, nor lasting the full hour in the arena were a) not part of what I set out to achieve that day b) not required for success in my eyes… and by remembering that the opinions or observations of anyone not in alignment with the principles and philosophies that I train by, are simply an example of what I don’t want/need that serves to remind me to stay true to myself.

    The HOW is much more important than the WHAT that we do with our horses, and finding that harmony between participating in our chosen activities/equestrian sport and respecting our horse’s half of the partnership can be like walking a fine line, not always easy!

    My four keys to feeling like a winner no matter what are:

    🤩 setting myself up to be calm and present

    🤩 setting my horse up to be calm and present

    🤩 pre-setting expectations with others involved

    🤩 pre-setting expectations with myself

    There will always be those who think differently to you (and aren’t afraid to make it known) and there are always those who are relieved to see there’s someone else like them out there (although they may not always make themselves known!) Stay true to yourself and stay true to your horse, and you’ll always feel like a winner.

  • Recognising Insecurity in the Young Horse

    and 3 principles for growing self-confidence

    Horses are herd animals… there’s safety in numbers… we’ve all heard this so many times that it’s easy to brush over it, without considering the practical implications in our everyday horse handling. Could It be, that some of the things we think of as “normal” or “basic” or “not-that-hard” could actually be making the young/green/anxious horse feel extremely vulnerable and insecure?

    It’s easy to take the simple things for granted, especially if we’re used to more seasoned horses who already know the job. Standing quietly in the tie up, lifting their hooves on request, being groomed, leading safely through gates, being washed… the list goes on. Any one of these “normal” every day tasks that we expect a riding horse to do routinely, can be a big deal for a youngster. Signs of insecurity are sometimes mistaken for naughty behaviour, and we sometimes miss the message and get frustrate d or cross with the horse, right when he needs us to be his rock of support.

    Here’s an example, I’ve just started working with a 3yo gelding I bought last year, who has been hanging out in my paddock being a horse in the herd for a while ,and is now ready to begin his foundation training. I won’t start him to saddle until he’s 5yo but there’s plenty we can get going with now that will help that process go smoothly when the time comes.

    For the past week, I’ve been bringing 3yo Oliver out of the paddock (where he lives in a herd of 5) and up to the stable/yards for familiarisation sessions. On the first day I made sure he had an equine support crew in place; our 28yo grandfather of the farm was in the yard to one side, and the dominant herd member from Oliver’s paddock on the other side. I knew both of these horses would be calm in the stable, and happy to munch on some hay without getting rattled by little Oliver’s nervous behaviour between them.

    In situations where there’s no equine support crew available, the human support crew become a critical source of comfort and leadership. By leadership I mean, example of calm and confident behaviour. Showing the young horse that you’re not worried; that you see his concerns but don’t join him in them. That you’re grounded and reliable. Staying nearby is important, so the horse can see you all the time and doesn’t feel like he’s been abandoned all alone in an environment he’ feels uncomfortable and in.

    Picture this: you’re a horse who relies on his flight response, long legs and speed to keep yourself safe. You’re used to having your horse friends around you, and you pretty much live in the same paddock/property your whole life, without any opportunity to explore new places or see new things. (There’s a lot of “same old, same old” in the lives of modern horses!)

    Suddenly the human, who you mostly like, but sometimes gives off confusing messages, takes you into the tie up/yards which is an unfamiliar and often changing environment. (Think rugs hanging up that might be there one time and not the next etc). You get tied up, which makes you feel vulnerable because now you’re in an unsettling situation and your normal method of keeping yourself safe has been taken away. (Flight response.) Then your human disappears into the tack room out of sight and now you’re feeling insecure and all alone.

    Can we blame the young/green horse for pawing at the ground, chewing on whatever he can reach, panicking and pulling back, fidgeting, calling for his friends, refusing to pick up his hooves (can’t give away control of my legs when I might need to run away any moment now!) and not being able to “behave” or stand quietly, or cooperate or receive training, in this situation?

    My 3yo Oliver has been coming into the stable every day for a week now, and that’s all it’s taken for him to be chilled out and okay in there on his own now. He’s eagerly waiting for me at the gate each day, comes in to hang out and munch on some hay, then goes back to the paddock again. Low-fuss familiarisation session in areas that will later become your work space are a great place to start for any horse, even with less young or less green horses that you’ve just bought and have come to live at a new property.

    Using these three principles of environmental familiarisation, equine support crew, and human support crew, we can help grow our horse’s self-confidence so that he can learn to be calm and independent in the work space. These principles can be valuable for all kinds of scenarios, big and small. Only a calm horse is ready to listen, learn and receive training, so there’s no gain in trying to work with a worried or insecure horse as the work won’t sink in, and both parties will feel dissatisfied with the situation.

    Taking the time to monitor and manage how your horse is feeling is the main ingredient to any successful horse training recipe. Being a grounded and reliable human support crew, someone who doesn’t get rattled or become stressed about the horse being stressed, takes practice and intention, but it’s well worth establishing the habit and the relationship you have with your horse will flourish for it.